All That We've Got Left
by TessaStarDean
Summary: MacJuliet. Set after the season 4 finale of Lost. What if Mac Taylor had been one of the survivors of Oceanic 815? Oneshot. XOver with CSI NY.


After the boat exploded and the helicopter disappeared, there were a couple days of stunned silence

After the boat exploded and the helicopter disappeared, there were a couple days of stunned silence. People moved without seeing, and spoke in hushed tones if they said anything at all. Sawyer was almost never seen outside of his tent, and Juliet noticed that more Dharma alcohol was missing from their stores. Charlotte just sat on the beach, watching the water. Rose and Bernard did what they could, making sure that everybody ate, but even their eternal optimism couldn't bring them out of their despair.

That all changed on the morning of the third day. The raft landed on the beach again, with Daniel and everyone else he had left with. There were tearful reunions, and Juliet had watched with a smile as Charlotte ran up and kissed Daniel. Nothing like a close call to bring people together.

While everyone celebrated the only thing they had to be happy about, Juliet tried to help Sawyer. She hid the alcohol and tried to get him to talk. She even tried to convince him that the others needed him to lead. But he had lost too many of the people he tried to save, and he wasn't willing to risk anymore.

Sitting in front of the fire one night, cooking dinner, Juliet realized how tired she was. She didn't want to spend another evening reassuring people, or trying to pull Sawyer out of his black hole. She wanted to sit with another human being and just...be. Without someone expecting something from her, or wanting her to be someone she wasn't sure she was anymore.

Glancing up, she saw Mac Taylor sitting alone, staring out across the water. He was so far up the beach that he was almost out of sight, and Juliet found herself thinking that that was probably the best place to be. Filling two plates with food, she walked across the sand to join him.

She hadn't paid much attention to Mac until the others were gone and they had lost all hope of rescue. He was strong and dependable, but was also quiet, keeping to himself much of the time. It seemed to Juliet that he had been a leader in his life before the crash - something in the way he carried himself and spoke with an immovable confidence. But something must have happened to him; she could see it in his eyes, the demons that were chasing him.

"Would you mind some company?" she asked quietly.

He didn't seem surprised by her presence, and Juliet had the sudden notion that he had known she was there. Looking up at her, he gave her a hint of a smile.

"Have a seat."

She lowered herself to the sand, handing one of the plates to him.

"What's this?"

"Dinner."

"You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged. "You looked hungry."

They ate in silence, watching the sun set. Slowly, the beach descended into darkness, and individual fires appeared where the other survivors were. Juliet imagined them gathering around the light, talking, taking comfort in the fact that they were not alone. But none of that noise reached them where they were, and she got the feeling that both of them preferred it that way. Finally, Mac stirred.

"I'll make us a fire."

He worked quickly and quietly, and soon had a small fire going. It only lit up the area directly around them, but it's warmth was comforting, and when Mac sat back down, he was closer than he had been before.

"Thank you for dinner," he said quietly.

"You're welcome."

"Not visiting Sawyer tonight?" When she frowned at him, he shrugged. "I noticed you take care of him most nights, making sure he eats."

Juliet sighed. "I needed a break." She paused, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Does that sound selfish?"

Mac thought about it for a moment. "It might sound it, but I know what you mean. Sawyer is doing better than he was, thanks to you. Maybe he'll even get his own food tonight, just because you broke the routine." He sighed, looking into the fire. "How are you doing? Since the explosion, I mean."

"I'm fine –"

"I may be distant, Juliet, but I notice things. I know that the doctor meant a lot to you."

His voice was so quiet, and so gentle, that it slid under her defenses. She felt tears building in the back of her eyes and her face growing warm, and suddenly she couldn't brush him off.

"He did," she admitted, keeping her gaze locked on the flames. "I didn't mean as much to him, but he was a good man." She closed her eyes then, fighting back the tears. When she reopened them, she turned to look at her companion. "You know, Mac, you seem to know a lot more about me than I do about you."

He gave her a small smile. "And what exactly do you want to know?"

"What did you do before the crash?"

"I was a detective with the NYPD."

"Do you miss it?"

"Yes."

She knew she shouldn't ask the next question, but she couldn't stop herself. "Did you leave anyone behind?" she asked softly.

He turned to look at her, and once again she saw those demons. "My wife was already gone," he admitted. "But there were friends. Friends as close as any flesh and blood. Closer, even."

Juliet gave a hollow chuckle, and Mac looked at her sharply.

"Flesh and blood," she murmured. "It's just kind of funny that you would put it that way. Because, really, that's all we have left here. Flesh and blood."

He watched her carefully. "You left people behind, too." It wasn't a question

She shrugged. "I was brought here under false pretenses. I never thought I'd be gone this long. And now it doesn't look like I'll ever leave."

He leaned in just a little, letting his forearm graze hers. "At least you're not alone, though," he murmured.

Turning to look at him, Juliet found herself locked in his gaze. His eyes were deep, and the firelight reflected off of them, making it seem as though they were alight. The skin of her arm was burning where he had touched her, and suddenly Juliet wanted to know what that would feel like coursing over the rest of her body. Unable to stop herself, she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. He didn't pull away at first, but just let them stay connected. Juliet sighed as the warmth spread across her mouth, and she pushed herself closer. That was when Mac pulled away slightly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes searching hers.

Juliet reached up and touched his face. "I've had enough of blood," she whispered.

She kissed him again, and this time, Mac returned it. His hand came up to cradle her head, tangling in her blond hair as tilted his head and nipped at her bottom lip. Opening her mouth, Juliet let him take the kiss deeper, amazed at the way this man possessed her. His kisses grew heavier and more demanding, and she found herself matching his pace easily, wanting this every bit as much as he did.

With the firelight dying behind them, he pushed her back onto the sand and rolled on top of her, his hands slow and thorough as they moved over her body. Amazed at how comforting the weight of his body was, Juliet slipped her hands beneath his shirt, her fingers trailing over his taut muscles.

The fire died and the stars took over, softening the light. And for the first time in a long time, neither of them felt alone.


End file.
